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(Contains: nudity)
EDIT 07/01/2013: To Improvement-Club: I'd like pretty much everything to be corrected if possible. Thank you.

Honestly, the only things I'm proud of with this one are the anatomy and the hair. I should have spent much more time on this instead of procrastinating, despite the fact that I started this drawing weeks ago...

Please critique! I really want to improve!


... and by that I don't mean start calling my art a piece of shit. Be respectful and actually try to HELP me, not troll me, please.
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:iconbisexualmarshmallow:
I have to say, you're really improving, though I think there is still room for improvement here.

The line art is really thick. It makes the drawing look a little too cartoon-ey. The hair could use more work. Next time, try to make some more strands. The eye seems a little off-putting, too... Like, it shouldn't be that wide open (It kind of gives her a rape-vibe, no offence. XD)

The anatomy is okay. The shoulder and arm bother me, though. The arm is way too far out, and the shoulder is way too high up. Maybe is she was turned slightly, then it would look better. You might want to work on the feet too. They have sort of a horsey-hoof kind of look going.

All in all, it does look good. Just work on that anatomy and line art, and you'll do great. :)

Keep up the good work lovey. ^_^
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
10 out of 11 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconmsmissy87:
I really like this piece. upon scrolling through your gallery it caught my eye enough to click on it an see it in better detail.

this is with your young age in consideration...
way better at people than myself at 14, your color skills too.
i think with more work on the arms, head, neck, shoulder area it would look fantastic :)
the arms are a bit thin, the head doesn't sit right, like it fell off and was thrown back on, the foreshortening on the bent arm fell flat and i think the shoulder is a bit high on the straightened arm .. the feet not sure if they were covered by cloud to remove detail? still looks nice though
i think the hair would look nicer without the big bold outline and a bit more flow :)

the background goes nicely with with the pose
it creates a sense of 'heavenly', really refreshing

hope i have been helpful! keep up the good work!! :)
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
9 out of 10 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconitoruna-the-platypus:
Itoruna-The-Platypus Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2014  Student Filmographer
Hey, one think I think you should add?
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:iconstreled:
Streled Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013   Traditional Artist
I'm 23 and still can't freaking draw as good as this!:icondeskflipplz:

Er...
Is that me or her left hand seem to be mirrored?
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:iconbaconmagic:
BaconMagic Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
Nah, it's not mirrored.
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:iconstreled:
Streled Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013   Traditional Artist
Her finger look a little like a thumb...
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:iconbaconmagic:
BaconMagic Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013
Really? I must fix that...
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:iconstreled:
Streled Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013   Traditional Artist
Yes, look at both hands.
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:icondestinydecade:
DestinyDecade Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That's... very impressive. Wow.
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:iconbaconmagic:
BaconMagic Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
Really?
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:icondestinydecade:
DestinyDecade Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yep. Well done here.
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:iconbaconmagic:
BaconMagic Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
Thank you!
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:icondestinydecade:
DestinyDecade Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Welcome.
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:iconstrawberryr:
StrawberryR Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
The contrast between the shading on the inside and the thick outlines on the outside is kind of jarring. I suggest either making it an "outline-less" drawing, or simplifying the inner shading. :3
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:iconbaconmagic:
BaconMagic Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
I wanted to make this lineless but I suck at that. ;w;
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:iconstrawberryr:
StrawberryR Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yeah, it's kinda hard. :c

:3 With enough practice, you can get good at it. You do a basic outline of the shape, but include the outline in the shading. All you have to do is shade over the outlines as if they're another part of the body. I mean, with these outlines, that would make her look very thick, but it'd work. :D Try thinner outlines too, that makes things look nicer and they feel more light and open~
Reply
:iconlolwutlemonplz:
lolwutlemonplz Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
I'm going to go cry in a corner kthxbai. You're seriously making me look bad.

Now that that's out of the way, tl;dr incoming. I rather like this. You drew the breasts really well, they've got volume/dimension to them.

As far as critique goes, it's probably just nitpicking on my part. As far as the outline goes, I'd vary its weight/thickness to help emphasize whatever you want and give the drawing more depth. For example, I like to make heavier outlines where there's more shadow/weight and lighter outlines where there is less emphasis.

The pose seems just a bit awkward realistically to me; there are a bunch of poses similar to that from the belly down, in my Yoga/Pilates classes (working out fuck yeah), and to have the hipbones stacked directly over one another like that gets uncomfortable after a little while. When people lay on their side like that, the top hipbone tends to lean one way or the other (towards the front or back) to offset the pressure on the bottom hipbone. You hint at the person having their legs offset from one another to help them balance, but I'd think it'd look a bit more believable if you add that variance in the waist/hip area.

Something seems to be a bit odd with the shoulders, but I'm having a hard time putting my finger on exactly what's odd about it. I'd give the arms more musculature- they do look kind of thin on someone with her build. The hand on the 'ground' looks great, though.

Personally, I'd like the see the hair worked on several different layers. The one overall encompassing shape here is a bit wig-like, but if it was drawn on different layers, it could be less so. I'm a fan of stray strands here and there- probably because my hair gets everywhere no matter what I do with it. I love how you drew the lips, though. The nose I'd like to see defined more, but that's probably a style nitpick. The eye could use a little more shadow/highlight to indicate the eye socket area, and the brow ridge- look at some portrait photos for reference if you want.

I like how you hint at the lighting conditions with the colors you picked for the skin, but I am a bit confused as well. The highlights suggest a very bright white light source, but the colors suggest a warm, more yellowy light. I recall from one of my Freshman Year classes the play between color/light warmth and shadows. When you get a warm light source (reds, yellows, etc.), the highlights tend to be warm, while the shadows lean towards cooler shades (blues. greens, cool violets). It's the other way around for cool light sources (ex: in cool blue moonlight, shadows can take on a weird dark yellowy shade).

Keep up the good work; I'm excited to see what you make next. I sense a lot of potential, especially when you're producing like this at your age.

:nod:
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:iconbaconmagic:
BaconMagic Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
Oh come on. You're way better at art than I am and you know it. :B

Wow, thank you so much. This is literally the best critique I've had so far. Very helpful. I'll be sure to remember everything when I'll remake this drawing.

Honestly, I'm very surprised that you actually think I'm good at drawing, knowing that you think 90% of the art on dA is shit. I always see my works as inferior to those of most people here, but that's probably because I simply got used to the thought that I'm an awful artist - I've actually been on dA since forever and every time I finally started thinking that I'm hot shit and got happy with my art there was always someone to tell me that I have the drawing skills of someone who hasn't seen a painting their whole life. It's like, my mindset now, but I guess it's a good thing because it gives me motivation to improve. :shrug:
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:iconlolwutlemonplz:
lolwutlemonplz Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
I only hope it's good enough to put food on my table once I graduate. Then I might be somewhat satisfied with my work. Might.

Hey, everyone starts somewhere- I didn't start getting 'good' until maybe Senior year in high school, and looking back on that, I was still bloody awful. I've got things I'm still not proud of to this day, but art is kind of always a work in progress.

Besides, compared to most your age here on dA, you've got some legit skill and willingness to take some critique to learn. I sense good in that.
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:iconbluewyrm:
Bluewyrm Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
Anatomy needs a little something (but wow I envy your boob drawing skills), skin shading colors are great (how'd you do that?), lines are a little pale, hair shading needs a hand.
Forgive monotone typing; lack of redline. I'll try to do one tomorrow. It's overall good but it's the little things that end up throwing people.
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:iconbaconmagic:
BaconMagic Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
Thank you a lot. I think I'll remake this drawing.

Drawing nudes is my speciality, probably because I always make them when I practice, and I practice a lot. XD As for the skin shading colors, you taught me about them, remember?
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:iconbluewyrm:
Bluewyrm Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
Congrats you just officially beat me at my own game (:XD: Clearly it's time for me to go and paint some more humans... it's been a bit since I tried.)
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:iconcrickettle:
Crickettle Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This looks great, the blending with all the shadows and lights are really amazing! :D The only thing I would have any comment on would be the arms. Both of them look very thin, the right one especially, as if they have no muscle ;A; [link] I sketched out a sort of redline that I hope will help at least a little bit ^^; don't mind the body bit, I have no knowledge of realistic anatomy and that's more of my personal style :'D
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:iconbaconmagic:
BaconMagic Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
Thank you! Yeah, I think I'll remake this drawing because it didn't turn out as good as I wanted to.
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:iconcrickettle:
Crickettle Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome! Ah, well I can't wait to see it for the second time then! :D
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:iconzedna7:
Zedna7 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Student Digital Artist
This looks good, nice sense of the human body.
The thick outlining lines are a bit distracting, but that's just my taste :)
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:iconbaconmagic:
BaconMagic Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
Ah, yes, I know I shouldn't have outlined it like this, but I only realized this after I finished the drawing.

Thank you!
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:iconmonochromewasteland:
MonochromeWasteland Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Student Digital Artist
this is very good :D
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:iconbaconmagic:
BaconMagic Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
Really? It has more than 73 views and only 7 faves.
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:iconmonochromewasteland:
MonochromeWasteland Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Absolutely, the anatomy of her body is my favorite :D
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:iconbaconmagic:
BaconMagic Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
Yeah, I'm pretty good at anatomy... I've been practicing for a whole year.
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:iconphotographermad:
PhotographerMad Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
very nice, great detail :D
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:iconbaconmagic:
BaconMagic Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
I don't think this is very detailed, but thank you.
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:iconphotographermad:
PhotographerMad Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
detailed enough :D
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:iconlutherine:
Lutherine Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh wow.
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:iconbaconmagic:
BaconMagic Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
Didn't expect this, hm? XD
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:iconlutherine:
Lutherine Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You see.
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:iconbaconmagic:
BaconMagic Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
Anyway, is the drawing good?
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:iconlutherine:
Lutherine Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You ask!
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:iconbaconmagic:
BaconMagic Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
... I guess that means 'yes'?
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:iconlutherine:
Lutherine Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yes.
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:iconbaconmagic:
BaconMagic Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
Thank you! ^______^
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:iconnimari-shinigami:
Nimari-shinigami Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
nice anatomy, really like that you noticed that boobies ARE effected by gravity, and i really like the color. oh and that the breasts have a natural size :3
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:iconbaconmagic:
BaconMagic Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
Thank you, dear!

Heh, drawing naked people is my speciality.
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:iconnimari-shinigami:
Nimari-shinigami Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
welcome :D
:icontobiapprovesplz:
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January 6, 2013
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